so here's a couple of FML [ fuck my life ] stories that i got from its website http://www.fmylife.com/
i feel bad for them, but their stories are funny LOL.
- today, i received my passport in the mail. they got my birthday wrong. then i picked up my birth certificate that i had sent with my application. turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
- today, i was sitting in class and i fell asleep during the lesson. i was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. my teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. she thought it was my phone. FML
- today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. i went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. i walk into his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. she can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML
- today, i heard my sister maturbating in her room. i took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and i came back to see her leaving her room ... my electronic toothbrush in her hand. FML
- today, this really attractive woman that i've known for years told me that when i can have sex with her standing up, she'll have sex with me. im confined to a wheelchair. FML
- today, i was having sex with my boyfriend. when he was about to orgasm, he screamed " YES BRITTANY! " at the top of his lungs. my name's not brittany. that's his sister. FML
- today, i found out that im pregnant. my husband and i have been trying to have a baby for awhile, and i was very excited to tell him the news. when i opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, i saw him making out with a man. FML
- today. my daughter asked me when was the first time i had sex. after i told her 22 she quickly said " BEAT YA! " she's thirteen. FML
- today, my husband of 9 years announced he was was gay. he insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because i looked like a man. FML
- today, i texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible i felt about cheating. he replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. i was talking about my math exam. FML
- today, i bit my boyfriend's neck. i felt something squirt into my mouth. turns out i had just popped a pimple on his neck into my mouth. FML
haha, wanna read more ? just go to the website and read more FML stories.
i feel bad for them, but their stories are funny LOL.
- today, i received my passport in the mail. they got my birthday wrong. then i picked up my birth certificate that i had sent with my application. turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
- today, i was sitting in class and i fell asleep during the lesson. i was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. my teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. she thought it was my phone. FML
- today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. i went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. i walk into his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. she can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML
- today, i heard my sister maturbating in her room. i took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and i came back to see her leaving her room ... my electronic toothbrush in her hand. FML
- today, this really attractive woman that i've known for years told me that when i can have sex with her standing up, she'll have sex with me. im confined to a wheelchair. FML
- today, i was having sex with my boyfriend. when he was about to orgasm, he screamed " YES BRITTANY! " at the top of his lungs. my name's not brittany. that's his sister. FML
- today, i found out that im pregnant. my husband and i have been trying to have a baby for awhile, and i was very excited to tell him the news. when i opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, i saw him making out with a man. FML
- today. my daughter asked me when was the first time i had sex. after i told her 22 she quickly said " BEAT YA! " she's thirteen. FML
- today, my husband of 9 years announced he was was gay. he insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because i looked like a man. FML
- today, i texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible i felt about cheating. he replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. i was talking about my math exam. FML
- today, i bit my boyfriend's neck. i felt something squirt into my mouth. turns out i had just popped a pimple on his neck into my mouth. FML
haha, wanna read more ? just go to the website and read more FML stories.
lovee jayy.
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